I did something a little unconventional this past week.
It is something that I have been meaning to do for years, literally.
I wasn't exactly sure what to expect and I didn't know if it was a good idea or not, but I wanted to try it.
So, what did I do?
I took my toddler son to go visit residents at a nursing home.
When I was a child, it was called an "Old Folks" home.
I remember my first ever visit to the "Old Folks" home when I was a child, around the age of 7 or 8.
You see, my mom was a nurse and she used to work for a nursing home when I was a child.
She would take me to work with her sometimes. I'm not exactly sure why she did this, but I can recall being scared to death the first time I ever went to the home with her. There were all these elderly people sitting around either watching TV, playing board games or just sitting in their wheel chairs staring out the window.
This was such a foreign place to me. I had never seen so many old people together in once place before.
I didn't like it. I didn't want to stay, I wanted my mom to take me back home.
She didn't take me home and I ended up staying there for her full shift.
I was very shy, I sat down in the cafeteria trying to hide. I didn't want anyone to speak to me, or to even look my way.
Of course I couldn't hide. There I was, a little girl with long, perfectly fixed braids in her hair, with huge brown eyes taking in the sites and smells of the place.
My mom introduced me to the residents and then she told me to go play checkers with one lady, so I did.
I can't remember too much more about that day, but I do remember that I left that day with a smile on my face and it gave me a really good feeling inside. .
I returned to the nursing home many times after that first visit. I would play board games, take someone for a walk, eat lunch with my new "friends" and sometimes I wouldn't do anything, I would just sit quietly and listen.
That's all they wanted most of the time, was to have someone listen. They wanted to be noticed, to be validated and I provided that for them.
It was a great feeling and I was happy that my mom introduced me to this new world that I never knew existed.
When my oldest was just a baby, 6 months old, my husband and I traveled to Nebraska to visit his dying Grandma. When we walked through the doors of the nursing home with my son held tightly in my arms, I remember the look on the residents faces as we walked the corridors. It was a look of joy. I saw their eyes light up and I remember thinking that it was the same look that I would get when I would visit the nursing home as a child.
The women wanted to hold the baby and when I handed over my son to one lovely lady, it touched my heart. It made me happy to know that for one moment I could make someone's day. Make them feel loved.
I wanted to continue visiting nursing homes with my son when I returned to my home, but I never made time for it.
This brings me back to my visit this past week with my toddler.
It was now or never. My youngest son is at the perfect age for us to start visiting nursing homes.
I contacted a local nursing home and let them know that I wanted to come by to visit some residents with my son. The activity director was overjoyed with this news and made arrangements with me to visit during their weekly activities session.
So, on Wednesday, we went to the nursing home and it turns out, I had nothing to be worried about. We had a great visit!
My son was very shy at first, he clung to my leg and didn't want me to leave his side.
Slowly, but surely he warmed up to the crowd. He walked over to the TV and started to fiddle with the different buttons, he caught his reflection in the mirror and examined himself for a few seconds before moving on to something else. Finally, he found an exercise ball and started to throw it around the room. He played "Peek a boo" with one grey haired lady and he jumped up and down and made silly faces for everyone and we all laughed.
I'm not certain that everyone was happy to have a little toddler running around the facility, but for the most part I think he was a hit!
I can't tell you how full my heart was that day. It was a full circle moment for me.
My mom would have been proud.
I will continue to honor my mom's memory by taking my son for weekly visits to the nursing home.
It's the least I can do to close the generation gap.
I encourage you to get out there and do what you can to put a smile on someone's face.
After all, wouldn't you want someone to do the same for you when you're 99?
I find myself repeating this mantra a lot lately.
My life is busy, sometimes chaotic. I deal with depression on a daily basis, I don't know if depression is a result of some things that happened to me when I was a child, if it's because an imbalance in my brain, or if it's delayed postpartum depress, no matter where it stems from, I know I can't let depression keep me down.
I'm a Mom of 3, I'm a wife, a friend, a Daughter, Sister and Aunt.
I'm going through a lot of emotional chaos right now.
Am I complaining? I suppose some could view it that way.
I'd like to think that I'm just venting.
I live in a rural area, I'm not around any other adults much during the day, so sometimes I guess I do speak without thinking that maybe it could come out as a complaint or frustration.
However, the goods news is that I am aware of this. I'm tired of losing friends and pushing family members away.
I have made a vow to work on myself, my patience, my complaining and just being an overall better person.
It's going well, so far, at least I think so.
Life isn't easy, I don't care who you are. It's never easy.
It is what we make of it and I'm not sure if the upcoming New Year has made me reflect on all these issues I need to work out, or if it's just life in general that has made me contemplate these issues and made me want to do and be better. What ever the case may be, my children, my husband, family and friends deserve a better "ME". So, I'll give it to them.
Life goes by way too fast and I want to try to enjoy every moment of it that I can.
When I lost my Mom 16 years ago in a car accident. I turned to her and I knew in my heart of hearts that she was already gone, but I was hoping that she could somehow be able to hear what I had to say to her. Those words were, "Mom, it's ok. I'm ok." Those were the only words I could force out of my mouth. My mind was spinning but I wanted her to know that her daughter was going to be OK.
So when I find myself in the midst of chaos or when I'm feeling overwhelmed, I'll repeat those words as a reminder that everything is going to be just fine. "It's OK. I'm OK".
I'm very late posting this, but our little guy turned 1 on June 24th.
It still blows my mind as to how the time can go by so fast. I still remember the very first day I held him in my arms and how I wanted to capture that moment in my mind and keep it forever.
He is a very active boy. He likes music, he goes back and forth between being a "Mama's boy" and a "Daddy's boy". One minute he wants to be held and cuddled by me and the next he's crying for his Dad.
He isn't speaking much, but does say, "Mama, Dada, Wow". He also knows the sign for "More" and "Please".
All in all he is a joy to have around and we are so glad we have our little "Bonus" baby.
This is not your usual, "Oh our family is so perfect, all of our children are beautiful, We are the most fantastic parents in the world" year in review letter.
No, because that's not the way I roll. I keep things real.
Here is a realistic view of 2010.
2010 started off with morning sickness in full effect and continued until about mid February.
My oldest son took a vow of silence and would only communicate with us in written form. That only lasted about 2 hours, but it was nice to have a break from him and his sister's arguing. It's kind of difficult to argue with your sister when you are only writing on a piece of paper and using a crayon!
My daughter lost her first tooth.
I decided to improve on my culinary skills and served a dinner which consisted of cheesy hot dogs, potato salad, peas and potato chips. It must have been a hit because my son exclaimed, "Now that's what I call a dinner!"
My friends threw a baby shower for me in Phoenix. I was able to spend some time with some of my family and also was able to reconnect with friends I hadn't seen in over 10 years! Thanks, Facebook!
My daughter turned 6!
Some more friends threw a baby shower for me here in Nevada.
My oldest son turned 8!
I counted down the days until our baby was going to make his/her entrance into the world.
My In Laws came to stay with us and help out around the house until the baby was born. During their visit, my Father in Law kept himself busy by installing a new shower head, buying some new rugs for the kitchen (because the old ones were old and ugly), installed a new toilet seat, organized our pantry, fixed our kitchen drawer and I'm sure there were some other things he did to help spruce up our house, but I can't recall.
My Mother in Law kept herself busy by helping out with the kiddos, cooking and being a totally awesome Grandma!
Finally, our little guy was born. Baby "J" was born on 6/24/10 weighing in at 7 lbs. 2 oz.
My daughter lost another tooth the 2nd day that our baby was home. She put the tooth in her pillow and the tooth fairy forgot to show up that night.
So she put her tooth in the pillow the following night and the tooth fairy showed up that night, left her some money but forgot to take her tooth! My daughter was confused as to why the tooth fairy left her money but left the tooth in her pillow.
At that point I explained to my daughter that the tooth fairy has lots of little boys and girls to take care of
and sometimes she forgets to take the teeth. I also explained that maybe the tooth fairy had her own family to take care of and that maybe the tooth fairy still had to get dinner made every night and clean the house and drive her children to Karate practice and that maybe the tooth fairy also had a newborn baby at home and was busy breastfeeding and changing diapers and was probably sleep deprived and barely had time to take a shower! I told her she should just leave the tooth in the pillow yet again and maybe the tooth fairy would come back.
Luckily for my daughter's sake the tooth fairy came that night and took the tooth and left a pillow for her mistake.
The following morning the world was a happier place, at least for a moment.
My Dad and his wife came to visit us and meet the new baby!
My Brother and his family came to visit and meet the new baby too.
My oldest son went to spend a week with his cousins in Arizona. He went swimming every day and my Sister in law reported to me that he didn't cry or whine one single time during his visit! I'll have to be sure to send him to Arizona more often.
I realized that my baby was a beautiful baby because total strangers would approach me and say, "Oh, your baby girl is so pretty!"
My oldest son attended summer camp for the first time. When I was packing his clothes he made sure to advise me as to not pack any pajamas that had animal prints or car prints. Just plain pajamas because he was a big boy now.
He learned a hip hop dance, did some rock climbing, made me a gorgeous flower pen and made lots of new friends!
.
My Husband's sister and one of her daughter's came to visit us and meet baby "J"
My daughter decided to expand on her culinary skills and started making her own breakfast. Most mornings she would have a healthy serving of: Cocoa puffs, lucky charms and trix all mixed together in one bowl.
My older two children headed back to school.
My Uncle and Aunt came from New Mexico to meet the baby.
My Husband and I celebrated 10 years of wedded bliss by going on a short trip to Portland.
I experienced changing a 3 month's old explosive diaper in an airplane bathroom. Let me just give you a tip: Have plenty of wipes on hand.
Made some new friends and tried some Thai food for the first time ever. I'm now addicted!
We had a small, private baby dedication at our house. Our Good looking Pastor and his lovely wife agreed to do the baby dedication for us. My Dad and his wife came from Phoenix for the special occasion. Baby "J" pretty much slept through the whole event.
My daughter continued her Taekwondo lessons and received her yellow belt!
My older son dropped out of Taekwondo lessons because in his words it was "too boring".
My Hubby took the older two children on some camping trips and several bike rides.
My older two children had to discover how to keep themselves self entertained because their parents were busy with the new baby and didn't have time to give them all the love and attention they needed. They mostly did this by building things with Lego's.
They also kept themselves entertained by taking pictures of themselves and anything else they came across.
Baby "J" celebrated his first Halloween.
We made a trip to Phoenix and more family members got to meet our newest addition, including my Grandma.
We attended the Arizona State Fair! I talked my children into going on the Giant slide, my son was scared to death when we reached the top, but there was no time to give into his whining, so me and my Daughter went down the slide together and I left my terrified, trembling son at the top of the slide to figure it out for himself. Hey, tough love. He's gotta learn to get through rough times in life sooner or later. He came down the slide about 3 minutes later. He had a look of terror on his face, but he decided that he liked it and actually went down a second time.
We visited my Mom's grave in Phoenix. I tried not to cry like a baby, but I couldn't hold the tears back.
Baby "J" celebrated his first Thanksgiving and Christmas.
We celebrated Christmas and baby "J" did not enjoy opening presents.
2010 was full of it's usual joys, sorrows, laughter, tears ....but most importantly it was full of love!
Wishing all of you a joyous and realistic 2011!
2:57 A.M.
I find myself getting up at very strange hours of the early morning with my little guy.
Seems as though he isn't ready so sleep through the night yet.
As much as I want to complain and cry and pull my hair out, I won't.
I realize that our little ones grow way too fast. Before I know it they'll be off to College.
My oldest son is already 8. I have memories of rocking him to sleep at night when he was a baby.
Now, I'm lucky if I get a hug from him before bedtime each night.
My Mom always said that the time goes by too fast.
I agree.
Life is good, especially at 2:57 A.M.
"Happiness consists not in having much, but in being content with little."
-Marguerite Gardiner, Countess of Blessington.
I came across this quote today and it really hit me. It helps to remind me to be grateful for what I have in life.
I don't live in a mansion, I don't have expensive jewels or wear designer clothes.
However, I have a loving family, I have a roof over my head, I have food in my pantry.
It may not be a glamorous life, but it's my life and I'm content.
Days when my kids won't stop arguing.
Days when I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Days when I want to make enchiladas for my family, but I can never quite seem to get the recipe right and make it as delicious as you used to.
Days when I'm lonely and I just need someone to talk to.
Days when I want to tell you something cute or funny that one of the kids said.
Days when I feel like I'm having a nervous break down and I just need a shoulder to cry on.
Days when I've created something with my own two hands and I want you to know that I really did inherit your creative gene.
Days when I'm nursing my son's broken arm and I want you to tell me how to make it all better.
Days when I hear my unborn baby's heartbeat for the first time and I'm overwhelmed with emotion.
Days when I want to ask you if you see me as a child when you see my Daughter.
Days when I've had a rough day and I want you to comb your fingers through my hair and tell me, " Everything is going to be ok".
Days when I want you to see what a pretty good person I've grown up to be.
Days when people you used to know say, "Wow, you look just like her".
Days when I hear someone playing the piano and it brings tears to my eyes because it makes me think about you and the beautiful music you used to play.
Days when I look down at my hands and for a moment I swear that I see your hands.
Today is that day. Every day is that day.
I miss you every day of my life. I'm so grateful that I had you in my life for 23 years. You were my best friend.
